


Dorian Pavus's First Law

by morrezela



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition, Final Fantasy XV, Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Crack, Crossover, M/M, Other, Video & Computer Games
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-01
Updated: 2019-04-01
Packaged: 2019-12-30 13:50:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18316514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morrezela/pseuds/morrezela
Summary: Dorian Pavus is horrified to learn that Ignis Scientia has been sucked in by that wretched FPS game Overwatch. It's so horrible that he's making fanart of it!





	Dorian Pavus's First Law

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Tumblr's memories page from April Fools. It gave me this gem: According to all known laws of #dorian pavus, there is no way a #ignis x noctis should be able to #overwatch fan art.

“No!” Dorian gasped in horror as he pounded his (very stylish, thank you very much) fists against the inside of the computer monitor. How dare they? This was all that Noctis boy’s fault. Ignis used to be a respectable gamer who devoted hours to developing the finest avatar and writing a meticulous backstory for his characters. 

Those characters also always romanced the very best of possible partners. All of Ignis’s Inquisitors had, naturally, romanced Dorian. Well, all but that female elf he’d made for the purpose of romancing Solas for “lore reasons.” But Dorian didn’t count that one. Also, Ignis had made sure that he’d gotten hooked up with the Iron Bull, so it was at least a fun distraction from the norm. 

In any case, Ignis also had been known to translate Dorian’s impeccable fashion sense into some rather flattering works of fanart. Dorian quite enjoyed watching him work. 

But it had been a while since Ignis had booted up his personal computer to play anything other than that odious Overwatch game. Dorian hadn’t known why at first. It wasn’t his typical game. Ignis was a stalwart fan of RPGs. It was a sign that he was a man of quality. 

Then, then he began to play a first person shooter of all things. Andraste’s blessed knickers, it had loot boxes. And, fine, under duress, Dorian could be persuaded to acknowledge the abomination that was his own game’s multiplayer with its own “buy more shit” scheme. But nobody played his game for that.

He could admit that some of the characters in Overwatch were rather fetching in their own, cartoonish way. Compared to himself, they were rather ghastly. But in universe, they could be construed by some as good looking. 

But surely such a game wouldn’t capture Ignis’s attention for long. Even that silly mobile game he played for the sake of friendship had never distracted him to such an extent. 

But then, THEN Dorian had the answers to his questions. The news was delivered in such a harsh manner too. After weeks of absence, Ignis fired up his art program. Dorian was not alone in his excitement at the prospect of watching him draw again. There were others looking on, though not as enraptured as Dorian. 

And the bastard broke all their hearts by drawing some of those wretched characters from Overwatch! How could he? How dare he? There should be a law against such betrayal! If there wasn’t, Dorian was going to make it. The First Law of Dorian Pavus: No FPS game should ever displace an RPG from the most sacred of fan expressions. 

“What’re you drawing, Specs?” another man suddenly hovered just outside the monitor. Dorian knew him, of course. Ignis followed him around like a shadow. Sometimes he’d lounge about in the background, playing on his phone, completely oblivious to the looks Ignis would shoot him. 

Longing was a bad look on anyone, and Ignis wore his even worse than most. But today none of those glances were happening. No, he was outright staring in admiration and open affection. It was appalling. 

“It’s a surprise,” Ignis said with a besotted voice.

“Is it a surprise with dicks?” Noctis asked. 

“How many times do I need to tell you that not all fanart is sex based?” Ignis replied. 

Noctis smirked at him. “I thought maybe I’d been inspiring. But if not…”

Oh. Oh, that’s what was going on, was it? Well, good for Ignis. He deserved to be happy and get laid. 

Ignis caved right before Dorian’s eyes. “Fine, I’ll draw you some obscene fanart, but know that this means I’ll not be able to post it on most of my social media sites.”

Noctis’s smirk turned into an outright grin, a naughty one at that. “You’re the best.” 

“Mmm, just know that I usually charge a commission fee,” Ignis warned with no heat behind his words. 

Noctis leaned down and kissed him, lingering longer than he needed to. “How’s that for a down payment?”

“It’s sufficient,” Ignis teased. “Now go busy yourself elsewhere. I need to concentrate.”

“Fine, fine. I’ll just be in your bedroom doing things.”

Ignis rolled his eyes as he turned back to face his computer. “Now where was I? Oh, yes.” 

Rough lines gave way to smooth ones as he worked. Even though it wasn’t a subject worthy of his talents, it was still a pleasure to watch him work. At least it was until something terrible happened.

“Hey, there. Name’s McCree,” a man announced from behind Dorian. He extended a hand that he had no choice but to shake. 

“A pleasure,” Dorian managed to say as he called upon all his years of social training. 

“Yeah, it’s real nice to be here. And also, mighty flattering,” he added as he pointed his flaming stick at the penis that was being rendered on screen.

“Indeed.” It was a nice dick, but Dorian had been drawn with better. 

“‘Course I suppose you’ve seen a lot in your time. Never been around this part of the hard drive before, but folks say you’re like the king of it or something.”

“Magister,” Dorian corrected out of habit. “Well, currently. Until he starts another playthrough.”

“Huh. You know all I get is some new voice lines now and again. Been in a couple comics though.” McCree stubbed out his fire stick under the heel of his boot. “You care to show a fella around?”

“I’d be flattered,” Dorian lied, “but I fear I’m taken. Several times over.”

“What? Oh, no. I mean, you’re a damned good lookin’ fella, but Ignis there is gonna start drawing my boyfriend soon, and he’s not the kind who shares. Kinda crotchety too.”

Despite himself, Dorian was a bit flattered. Acknowledged as both Ignis’s favorite and as good looking? Such flattery was hard to resist. “Ah, yes. The Hanzo character that all those people scream at to switch, yes?”

McCree laughed. “That’d be him.”

“Well, I suppose I could play the good host. For a little while anyway. If you run across a man who calls himself Solas, don’t trust him. I think he’s planning to pull the firewall down,” Dorian warned. 

Perhaps it wouldn’t be so bad to have new friends. So long as Ignis didn’t start drawing Minecraft fanart, he might consider creating an amendment to his law.


End file.
